Late 2020 the Lord started to work in my heart to call me to preach. For the longest time when the Lord was working in my heart I was doubting my salvation. Doubting salvation does not make you lose your salvation. Once you are saved you are always saved. But for months I kept asking the Lord to save my soul. Over and over and never receiving any rest. I was hurting in my heart deeply and the devil kept on making me doubt my salvation so that I wouldn't listen to God. The devil kept on and kept on making think that I was not saved and I couldn't ever be saved. Once your saved God will never let you go. The devil had me doubting salvation for months and it hurt me and it hurt my relationship with Jesus and God. I kept on asking the Lord to save me for months. I would constantly go up the alter at church begging God and Jesus to save me but it did nothing for me since I was already saved. I was asking the Lord to do something that was already done and he cannot save someone twice. But I kept on asking God to save me I spend days and nights asking Jesus to save me. This was due to the fact that God was convicting me in my heart to go preach his word but I wasn't listening. I was just going along my life and was just satisfied that I was saved and that was before he started to call me. However, that's not what God was wanting in my life. God had other things in store and he was trying to lead me down a path to preach his word.
But during the months before I accepted the call to preach I spent days and nights asking the Lord God and Jesus to save me and the devil kept on telling me lies. The devil kept on saying that I wasn't saved and that I couldn't ever be saved and many more lies. However, I just kept on turning to the Lord God and Jesus. I still do till this day turn to the Lord Jesus and God for everything. Whenever doubts and worries come about anything (salvation, future, or life) I just simply go to the Lord God and Jesus my savior. These doubts and worries can all be pushed away and the truth will shine whenever I go back to that day the Lord saved my soul. It's not about what I said or did besides just turning to the Lord God and Jesus Christ.
Then in early 2021 after months of praying and seeking the Lord I finally accepted the call to preach. I simply gave it to the Lord God and Jesus and trusted in him to lead and guide me. I trust into Jesus my savior and Lord God above for everything. I thank the Lord for all he has done for me and I know that there is nothing I can do without my Lord with me and He died for me and He rose again and He will take care of me. My Lord created me and he did it all for me! One day when I leave this world the Lord God and Jesus Christ will take me home and I just hope that before that time comes I can follow the Lord's will and preach and share the gospel of my Lord and savior Jesus Christ. But I do look forward to the day that I can finally see my Lord and He will carry me home to Heaven. I know that Jesus will carry me home to Heaven because he moved into my heart that day in the Sunday School room many years ago. Either by the rapture or by the grave my Lord Jesus will take me home to Heaven and its only because I went to him many years ago and believed in him.